I'm really freakin out that I might lose my job. It sucks. I have no reason to feel this way other than I'm sick (for real) for the third time. I've been really good about calling, even the last two times going in in the morning because the temp agency has to get a replacement for me, so I go in sick as hell and wait for them.

It's just that when I called today to tell them I was really ill, my contact sounded so... disappointed in me. It's seriously crushing me. I sent her an e-mail thanking her for the wonderful opportunity and apologizing for recent events. I haven't heard back from her but I'm not sure I expect to. I'll just walk into work thursday and put my best foot forward from then on. Hopefully any "damage" me being ill has done will be repaired.

I have literally been horribly sick since saturday and it's not breaking. I struggled through work yesterday but I'm not sure I can do that again. I'm sort of scared I'm going to lose my job since I've been sick twice all ready + the last week off.

I have no idea why I've been getting so sick lately, usually my body is tough as nails.

This is pretty terrible. I slept until like 4pm. halpppp.

Oh and alex, if you get a chance today hop on aim.

LH injury 1 WOOT

aaaaaaaaa wakeupwakeupwakeup

So I just got back from Terminator: The Curious Case of Billy the Badass.

I'm pretty disappointed!

Whenever I try to casually explain a more intimate aspect of my personality I always feel really awkward, almost embarrassed afterward.

Like, I know I'm strange, I just thought you guys knew too!

e-bay is going to be the death of me.

I bought some things on ebay that I've been gushing about all day. I really really like them and am excited! This was my first e-bay purchase ever.

( Warning, it's just warhammer shit )

hey I actually sort of like my magic card that guy made for me

So my ticket has been bought and I am happily awaiting lake house fun! It sucks that I'm going to lose money for that week, but it's not going to impact bills or whatnot so there's that. I'm looking forward to hanging with my bud alex, seeing some old faces and meeting some new ones.

I've started swimming again which has been great, and I seem to be shedding a few more pounds, which is okay because I'm not like skin and bones or anything, but I should keep an eye on it.

I've just been really happy lately, everyone likes me at my new job and management thinks I'm just swell, I work 10 hours a day (11 if you include travel), but really it's the bees knees because I get to surf the internets and build models and whatnot during the downtime. It makes an otherwise intolerable job pretty cozy. After I'm done making da mad monies I go home and snuggle up with my chef to be and now he's even taken to exercising with me!

The weekends vary from super fun to okay depending on a lot of factors, but either way they're a great break from the week and almost always rejuvenate me for the upcoming work week. I enjoy playing my nerd games, they fun.

Lake house puts a damper on the saving portion of my monthly income (as did catching up on bills last month), but I have a feeling that when June rolls around I'll be building up a hefty savings over the course of the next year. What to do with this you ask?? Well it's quite simple my friends! I will blow it on whimsical things like trips around the world! "But alyssa, shouldn't you be saving for a house, or investing in your future?"

NAY FRIENDS. I am young and stupid and it's my right, nay my duty as an individual in their early 20's to be fiscally irresponsible with their savings!

I don't think I'm going to make it through the whole day, gaaa!

I'm a big dummy, but now what do I do? Wherever this energy is coming from is not going to last. I feel sick and tired wahhhhh.

Why does everyone here think I have a child???

I know some of you will hate me but does anyone have a .doc or pdf of some 40k books I can read at work?

There's plenty of torrents out there but if I get caught torrenting at work I'm pretty sure I'll be fired. WAREZ I understand all that, and I will buy a book as soon as I get paid (even though my store doesn't have any good ones), but I'm so bored in the lulls at work, I just want to read somefin :(

pretty pwease?

Yesterday talking about clothes got me thinking. The type of thinking about like "uhh I don't have any".

I have like 3 pairs of jeans that fit me now, the other jeans just look comical on me now they're so big. I might be able to scrounge up enough monies to get another pair and a shirt or something but that's like 100 dollars and I really want to get my hair done ;_;

HEY ALEX GUESS I'LL BE USING YOUR WASHING MACHINE A LOT

I'm so unfashionable it's kwazy

FO is down and today is moving at a snail's pace. Coincidence? Jesus christ I hope so.

"Have you accepted the lord jesus christ as your savior"

"ERM"

Those are some of the most awkward words anyone can ask you, and doubly surprising when it's coming from the woman relieving you for breaks and lunch. She waited until the last time I would see her to ask (they're assigned each week).

I honestly don't know what to say. Lots of people will consider it rude, but I understand and appreciate the sentiment behind it. For some people the question isn't a recruitment attempt into their church or their moral code, it's a genuine concern for you and what they believe is your immortal soul. So I never really react with disdain or irritation, but I don't know what to say either.

I'm not an atheist, but nor am I a theist. I have settled into a weak agnosticism which while comfortable for me tends to alienate me from like 70% of the population. That's okay really, I'm groovy with that, but I always feel really awkward when conversations turn to how much religion sucks or how to save my immortal soul. Anyway, I don't really know what to say to that without coming off like a jackass.

I know about religion, Christianity in particular but others as well. My father is pretty heavy into religious stuff and read us the bible and took us to church in the early years. Catholic Dogma and the historical information on religion facinates me to no end. So when I say "no"  or stammer something that's not "yes" and they begin dropping some Christian knowledge on me, I don't want to be like "I already know all this stuff but thanks anyway".

Well whatever, God and I are bros anyway, he'll understand.